Monday, September 9, 2013

How much weight is too much? -aka- When is it acceptable to be who you are?

My weight loss has nearly come to a standstill, but I'm okay with that for now. I've been flat out with work and other commitments so my exercise hasn't been all that flash. If I'm honest, my eating hasn't been all that great either. I still can only eat smaller amounts, much less than a full serve, but occasionally I can sneak in a little extra, and I know my food choices aren't always the best.

I had my 12 month blood tests done today and cholesterol has gone up slightly since my last testing 6 months ago. Admittedly 6 months ago I was barely eating anything so I knew it had to go up. Part of it going up has been the good cholesterol going up though which is a good thing - mine has always been low. And my overall risk factor has decreased as a result of that. My B12 levels are still low but nothing new there.

I do need to be careful with my Coke intake. I drink probably a can maybe three times a week, but if I ever drink more than a can at a time, even just an extra half a can, I can feel my heart racing and my hands get shaky - definitely a sign that it is too much for my body to handle! I also still get headspins every time I stand up, a symptom of my low blood pressure.

Other than that, I'm still going strong and incredibly happy that I had the surgery done. Now comes the hard part - learning to live outside of the sleeve's immediate effects and learning to love my body. I am sitting at 75kg, and it seems to be a pretty good weight for me to be at. My BMI is just over 25, I run regularly and I sit between a size 14 and 16. Should I be trying to lose more weight? What is the right weight to be? Is it okay to be a size 16 and accept that? Or should I keep going until I am a size 14, or size 12, or size 10? It's all so confusing to me. I'm not skinny- will society look down on me if I stop trying to get there and just be happy with who I am at this point? Will people who don't know my sleeve history think I am being lazy by being this weight, even though it is considered 'healthy' by my doctor and BMI? There is still so much to get right in my head, to navigate how 'normal' people manage their body image and the worlds perception of what is 'okay'.

1 comment:

  1. Your ok weight is the one you feel most happy and comfortable with, and the one which you feel the healthiest. It isn't a clothes size. You look amazing.

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